COMMENT TO BE ADDED
COMMENT TO BE ADDED
So I guess this is me going ahead and making an official announcement. I'm posting this to both LiveJournal and Facebook, so I'm sorry if you end up seeing this twice. Feel free to ignore one of them because they both say the same thing. Some of you also already know or have some idea, but read this anyway, just because I said so and because its important to me. This is a public entry by the way, I figured this isn't something I really want or need to keep between just me and my friends list.
Basically the whole point of this is to let people know that I plan on moving to Atlanta as soon as I get my debt payed off and some money saved up. It won't be for awhile yet, I'm thinking something like two years or so, but I figured it was best to let people know now so its not a shock or something when I mention it.
My family has no idea about this yet, and they won't until closer to the move, because I don't want to deal with their passive aggressive “your abandoning us” bullshit. I gave up several years of my life in order to take care of my father (which I would do again in a heartbeat), but I'm expected to keep giving up things I enjoy just because they ask me too. I can't keep doing that, its not fair to me. I know I'm giving up going back to school for the immediate future to do this, but I'm making that choice, and I'm okay with it.
The decision to leave didn't come lightly, and there are quite a few reasons for this. Most of which are private and I don't really want to go in to. Basically what they boil down to is that even though I adore my friends here (too much actually), St. Louis isn't healthy for me anymore. More and more I feel like I'm drowning and its getting harder and harder to keep my head above water. I really want to make it clear though that I'm not leaving because of anything my friends have done or haven't done. Most of my issues about why I need to get out of the area are MY issues, but I know myself well enough to know that unless I leave I'm never going to deal with them.
I've been thinking about moving for awhile, longer than most people would believe, but only recently not only got up the balls to start working on it, but decided where to go. I didn't want to go someplace where I wouldn't know anyone, since being alone is one of my biggest fears. Thankfully, I've got amazing friends in Atlanta, friends who I've been able to talk about some of my issues with and who basically told me to get my ass down there as soon as I can. You've really got to love friends that are willing to verbally smack you upside the head with what you don't want to hear, but need to hear anyway.
So there we go, I'm moving in about two years. It seems like both a long time away and way too soon both at the same time, and the very idea terrifies me, but unless something drastic happens its going to be the best thing for me.
I wrote something similar to this last night but held off on posting it because I was thinking I might calm down in the morning and then regret posting anything. But I haven’t calmed down and more than that, I’ve realized I really don’t care if you or anyone else gets pissed at me for saying what I’m about to say. I’ve been holding my tongue for various reasons for far too long, but I see no reason to do so anymore. So I’ve decided to play your game and bitch about you publicly in my LiveJournal, but I’m going to play this game by my rules and that means none of that passive-aggressive “I’m not going to name names but I’m going to make sure you know who its about anyway”. So Heather, you can call me a bitch or whatever else you need to in order to make you feel better about yourself, I don’t give a damn.
Your one of the most self-centered people I’ve ever met. There, I said it, the big secret that I’m certain more than just me has been thinking. Everything has to be about you or you find some way to make it about you. I’m done dealing with you and your constantly sucking the fun out of things because OMG people might be focusing on something or someone else. It’s more than that though; you never bother to think about how your actions might affect someone else and again, I’m done having to deal with the fall out of you and your almost obsessive focus on yourself and how things will benefit you.
Have you ever wondered why so many of your friends end up not really wanting anything to do with you? Its because they grow tired of your bullshit. You try and blame it on them, but honestly Heather at some point didn’t it ever occur to you to take a good long look in the mirror and wonder, even if just for a second, why it seems to happen to you so much? Try it…although I can’t say you’ll like what you see.
I'm quite certain you knew a while ago that you weren’t going to go to Anime Central and you waited until now to say anything. Thanks for costing me more money because I don’t feel it would be right to suddenly change the cost of the room on everyone since the con is so close and I’m sure everyone has their budget already made out for that weekend, I really appreciate it. And thanks for waiting so long that I have basically no chance of finding someone to fill your spot. I had several people who were looking for a place to stay who I had to turn down, some of whom aren’t going to get to go to Anime Central now, who if you had let me know this even just a few weeks ago I could have added to the room. So not only are you screwing over someone who is supposed to be your friend…but people you don’t even know. That’s quite a talent you should be proud of.
Blame it on your “health issues” all you want Heather, I don’t buy it. I’ve got health issues, my best friend has health issues, A LOT of people have health issues and still manage to take care of their commitments. You committed to being in my room and paying your share, and even if you don’t go you should honour that. I’d ask you for the money, but I doubt I’d ever get it, and I don’t really want it anymore. I don’t want you to be able to throw that back in my face or use it to prove how good of person you think you are.
I’m not going to be surprised if you show this around in an attempt to make yourself look better and make me seem like the bad guy. Do it…I don’t mind being the villain in this story. I’d rather be the villain than the sidekick. But I’ve got one message for those you do send my way. Leave a comment if you want, I won’t delete them, but don’t expect a response from me. I don’t have the time or the inclination to get in an internet argument with you. And if any one on my friends list doesn’t like what I’ve written…well you can bite my shiny metal ass and take me off your friend’s list. As soon as I notice it I’ll do the same and then neither of us have to deal with the other.
.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}